Helmets are so not
cool
An original screenplay by David Orth
TITLES:
FADE IN:
INT—INSIDE OF THOMAS JEFFERSON
JEFF and DAVID are sitting at
the coffee table, playing Scrabble. JUSTIN is cooking in the kitchen, and ANDY
is pushing his bike out of the patio area and into the living room to go out
for a ride.
ANDY
(pushes bike out of the door)
See ya
guys later.
JEFF and DAVID
(in unison)
See ya!
CUT TO:
JUSTIN
Don’t you have a helmet?
CUT
TO:
ANDY
Yah, but I’m just going out
for a quick ride.
CUT TO:
JUSTIN
(gives withering look)
You still need a helmet.
CUT TO:
ANDY
(shrugs)
I dunno.
They’re sorta dorky. Plus, they make my hair go all poofy.
JEFF
(camera pans to him looking
up)
I think they look pretty cool.
DAVID
Goofy!
JEFF
(arguing)
Cool!
DAVID
Goofy!
JEFF
Cool!
DAVID
(dumps scrabble board)
I say they’re goofy, and he
has no reason to wear one! He said he’s only going around the block!
JEFF
I say they’re cool, and you
have to wear a helmet! Isn’t it the law?
CUT
TO:
ANDY
(looks contemplative)
I’m not sure what I should
do…. Maybe I should wear one…
FADE OUT: (Dream sequence music)
FADE IN
EXT –OUTSIDE OF THE THOMAS
JEFFERSON APT, #140---DAY
ANDY is sporting a helmet,
biking recklessly with his legs splayed out. He’s dressed like a complete twit;
socks with sandals, shirt hanging out, maybe even an awful pair of green
flowered pants. Major dork material.
ANDY
(bikes almost right into
JUSTIN)
Woooo!
JUSTIN
(catches ANDY and stopping him
from falling over)
Careful Andy! You almost took
a spill again!
ANDY
(rocks back and forth on his
bike)
I am careful! Hey, Justin, I
saw two dogs! Two big dogs, and they were like this: Grrrrrrrr. But I biked really fast away…
JUSTIN
(in mock surprise)
Two dogs! It’s a good thing
you can ride soooo fast!
ANDY
Yah... dumb dogs aren’t...
they’re... dumb.
JUSTIN
(nods)
Mmm-hmmm…
CUT
TO: (close-up)
ANDY
Hey, Justin,
Justin. Do we still got juice boxes?
CUT
TO: (long shot)
JUSTIN
Oooh, I’m afraid we ran out, Andy!
ANDY
AwwwMAN!
JUSTIN
(reaches into wallet, hands
ANDY money)
Well, you’ve been good lately,
so I think you’ve earned it. Pick me up some milk, too, but be careful! No
spills!
ANDY
(grabs money, crosses heart)
No spills, I promise!
CUT TO:
JUSTIN
(smiles as ANDY rides away)
ANDY
No spills! No spills! I
promised! no spills!
FADE
OUT
FADE IN:
INT—INSIDE OF THOMAS JEFFERSON
JEFF and DAVID are still
arguing, now wrestling over the Scrabble board. ANDY shakes his head, and starts
to push his bike out of the apartment.
ANDY
(pushes bike out of the door)
See ya
guys later.
JEFF and DAVID
(in unison)
See ya!
CUT TO:
JUSTIN
What about the helmet?
ANDY
(looks contemplative)
Wearing a helmet poses a
serious risk to my cool factor…
FADE OUT: (Dream sequence music)
FADE IN
EXT –OUTSIDE OF THE THOMAS
JEFFERSON APT, #140---DAY
ANDY is pushing his bike away
from the apartment and towards the road, just about to hop onto it. He is
dressed really “Cool”, looking uber-hip. JUSTIN comes out of the door after
ANDY, holding a large cooking spoon. (Wearing an apron, if he’s not too
mortified)
JUSTIN
Where are you going?
ANDY
Out.
JUSTIN
Out where?!?
ANDY
Who knows? I just ride and see
where this bike takes me.
JUSTIN
When will you be back? Should
I make you a setting for dinner?
CUT TO:
ANDY
(Slowly putting on shades)
No.
CUT TO:
JUSTIN
But... what
about... I…
CUT TO: (long shot of both)
ANDY
(climbing onto bike)
I don’t know when I’ll be
back, or if I’ll be back. Don’t wait
up. The road is calling, and I have to answer.
JUSTIN
(worriedly)
Well… be careful...
ANDY
(not looking back)
Ciao.
CUT
TO:
ANDY
(riding off into distance)
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT –OUTSIDE OF THE THOMAS
JEFFERSON APT, #140---DAY
JEFF and DAVID are playing
Scrabble again.
JEFF
Do you really think Andy will
be ok without a helmet on?
DAVID
He’ll be fine…
JEFF
Maybe I should worry less
about protecting my body and worry more about protecting my
image…
DAVID
(nods)
JEFF
(looks thoughtful)
Do you think seatbelts are
cool?
FADE
OUT:
END